2021 was a hell of a ride.

Outwardly – Finding the love of my life. Growing a fast-moving startup. Coaching brilliant and inspiring people. Educating about microbiome, health and wellbeing. Giving my all to practice what I preach.

Inwardly – a profound journey of exploration, trying to bring the unconscious conscious and reveal my inner operating principles. Contemplating which potentialities within me do I most wish to spend my limited time cultivating, developing and actualising in this world.

First I’ll revisit the goals I set for 2021, and capture the biggest insights and learnings.

Next – the stories I’m letting go of, the intentions & theme for 2022, and the essence of what I see as my role in the world.

I’ll finish with some quotes that most resonated, and best books and other resources that will hopefully benefit you.

Let’s go.

Dancing dancing dancing.

Dancing on my own at home. Dancing on my way to the train stop. Dancing on the train. Dancing in classes. Social dancing.

Finally getting home to sleep. Quickly understanding there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell I’ll be able to sleep anytime soon.

Brain and body are overflowing with chemicals – serotonin, oxytocin, dopamine…who knows what else.

I spend the next two hours chatting with my close friend Ahto, talking about dancing and venting emotions.

OK, maybe sleep now?

I try to sit down and meditate. I close my eyes. 20 minutes pass in an instant. The only things in my head have been different patterns of combinations. And a never-ending rhythm. One-two-three-four. Five-six-seven eight. One-two-three-four…

Finally manage to get some sleep.

———————————————

Rewind a year, to June 2020

1) Connection is why we’re here

One of my most powerful memories of 2020 comes from the first hours of the year.

2019 had ended on a deep low – a breakup with my fiancé, a struggling enterprise, and a falling out with one of my closest friends. I was confused and distraught, with no clue as to what was true, or what to do.

I had decided to go watch the New Year’s fireworks on my own, to Freedom Square, one of the central squares in my hometown Tallinn. Large crowds generally make me anxious, but oddly enough I felt safe there.

I looked around. Fire trucks. Ambulances. Police cars. A powerful sense of gratitude washed over me – they were all there to be of service and provide a safe space for us.

The clock struck midnight. As I stood there in the middle of the crowd, watching the celebrations, I found myself thinking – Why do we all come together as one for only this brief moment each year? And why am I still afraid to connect? What is still holding me back from starting a conversation with any one of these people here? I’d often felt like an observer, in my own bubble, distancing myself just enough to avoid any real connection.

And for one brief moment it all came together in a flash of truth. My head, heart and gut aligned to let me know: connection is why we’re here.

I hurried to my apartment and spent the next six hours writing my heart out to all the important people I had distanced myself from. Speaking my truth as honestly as I possibly could, and letting myself feel all the emotions that came with it.

This is the Part 1 of the Year-End-Review. Part 2 – My 6 biggest lessons from 2020 – can be found here.

This is my first attempt to put together a year-end review – a tradition that will surely take roots, seeing how much value it’s already provided.

I participated in a high-octane workshop organized by Tiago Forte and David Perell, alongside a hundred other people. One of the takeaways was that an Annual Review is a very powerful tool, and it makes most sense to do it together each year in this tour de force virtual intensive format, as a journey together with people I trust and have fun with.

Seeing how the course participants kept posting awesome reviews on their blogs, I decided to take a leap of faith and create my own blog as well. It’s only fitting that this will be the first post of the blog.

This article was originally posted on Elsavie blog in 2021.

Do you ever think about whether it’s even possible to have and maintain a balanced life?

There are times when I feel my energy is completely gone, and there’s nowhere to get it from.

And there are times when I have the gnawing feeling that I’m capable of so much more.

Who are these superhumans, who seem to consistently get it all right – who are organized, sleep enough, exercise regularly, have fulfilling relationships, eat their veggies, build a career, and still have time to have fun… Where do they get the time and energy from?

Ambition. Anxiety. Competition. Struggle. Injuries. Rehab. Prehab.

Learning about my own body, my strengths and weak spots.

Nutrition. Psychology and mental game. Meditation. Visualization.

Teaching. Learning. Joy. Focus. Balance of tension and relaxation.

Grit & perseverance. Pushing myself way further than I ever thought possible.